Yesterday was Halloween.
Um... I don't really know if I should write what I did on here. So.. I'll put it in secret code.

We drank some sparkling cider and got a little dizzy. We played UNO and Yahtzee. Then I went down on Taco Bell and ate a taco for like 30 minutes! Burger King stopped by too.. he's sexy. Then angry cowboy got all cranky and kicked us out of the park! I was still hungry.. so me and Taco Bell made out for a little bit. Lots of square dancing too.. that was dandy. I'm really good at it. We turned the kitchen into a planetarium with our damaged light sticks. Some people really liked it.. I think they took a Flinestones vitamin before they got there. They were acting funny.

Fuck yes.

Halloween is without a doubt my absolute favorite holiday. Besides Christmas... OBVIOUSLY.

I just got a cold. So I can't have sex for a while. Why? Because blowjobs make my nose runny, and that's no fun. LOLLERS JK PENISES ARE GROSS.

ANYWHO... My boytoy Brian is awefully amazing. I was at this guy Moose's house last night to drink and when everyone went to sleep two different couples started fucking. I was on the couch, trying to ignore the trauma I was going through. So I walked to Brian's house and then we cuddled and watched a movie I don't remember.. I was pretty trashed.

My nose is running. Guh.

My thumb's nail got so long it broke off. Way too short too.. my nail bed is still in tact so I think I'll survive. (LYKE OMG MY NAIL BROKE FML!)

Why do I always talk about dudes on here? They're not even worth the efforts of my finger muscles to type that shit. OH WELL.

I'm Jasmine for halloween. Score.

I just painted my nails silver. Double whammy.

I'm tired and I want Adderall. GUHBOOGALUSGHA

There was a speaker in my class and he made us meditate and we had to imagine anyone we wanted coming up to us and giving us advice. I figured I wouldn't do that at all and pictured Gerard Butler proposing to me on a beach... Oh well. A girl can dream right?

So, he ended up dumping me three weeks ago. I was mad but now I couldnt be happier, seriously. He's a total douchebag and everyone thinks hes a jackass. I made so many more friends, and he has been fucking every girl that falls for his bullshit. Good for him, really. I'm not mad anymore.. I don't even miss what we had. It was going no where.

And he dumped me for the reason I was talking about previously. He doesnt think hes ever going to love someone. Week before he broke up with me he told me he might love me. This kid has serious mental issues, no joke.

and I DIDN'T WIN THE FUCKING DOOR DECORATING CONTEST. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Is it weird that I already know who the love of my life is without meeting him yet?
Nevermind, I sound stupid. It's just I think I finally know what it is.. that 'it' that makes me never want to be away from this person.





^^^^^
that saved from my last saved post. and that was half of a year ago. i have a boyfriend. we just had out first fight. he is an asshole. i still have feelings. i just got to college and he goes here too. he is not and never will be the love of my life. i just don't want to be alone. is that wrong? fuck yeah it is. but i don't give a shit.

you know when a guy says you're beautiful when you're cuddling? and not just to other people? he doesn't do that. the only time he says im pretty is when he's telling other people around us. why do people have to be there when he says it? he got bored of me today. who the FUCK in their right mind tells their girlfriend is boring them!? him, i guess.

the 'it' is something that i know i'm going to find, no doubt in my mind. but it wont be soon. part of me feels bad for him. that he's never felt love. and in the irritated pit of my stomache i know it will never happen.

i might give him one more chance, i am. why? i have no fucking idea. i'm in my dorm room right now with no one that cares about me. tiniest violin, fuck it i know. but it sucks massive old man cock. it feels good to write whatever my mind thinks about. shit. i want to be a call girl and have my emotions literally fucked out of me. just kidding ROFLCOPTER. but being a call girl would be cool.. for like.. a week.

BUT I STILL FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE 'IT' IS. but i can't describe it with words. i have the image and everything too, that's not shallow, it's fact. dark shaved hair, dimples, brown eyes, larger nose. so far, that's all i see. but it's fucking freaky as shit when you know what he's going to look, and act, and feel like.

i will then be whole
but im gonna have to hobble around a little uneven for the time being.

HAHAHHAHAHAH i just read those old entries. what the FUCK?! THE KID'S A LOSER. haha! oh my god. i talk to some other people and they were like 'wow i can't believe you went out with HIM' and i was liike YEEEEAH I KNOW. haha now i have a new boy. and hes gorgeous and i hope all goes well. :)

Just started senior year too.. fuckin' A, can you say awesome? Senior priveleges pwn bitches. i want to chop all the little freshman's heads off though.. they like to stop in the middle of the staircases.. retards.

I'm more confident with myself now. And i'm happy. I made more friends.. and thank god for that.

i start shaking. convulsion-like.. i dont like this at all. im shaking like i'm freezing but im not cold at all. its because im talking to him and it makes me a bipolar nervous wreck. i can't do this

Right now, i dont love life so much. I got a boyfriend on christmas and lost him on Jan 14th. Yeah, do the math. It's not that great. Last year at about the same time Dan dumped me.. and its RIGHT BEFORE MIDTERMS. i can't concentrate on anything. I know it wasn't a very long time.. going out and stuff. but i just got attached. i guess i fell and he just dropped me. this sucks. last night was aweful. i cried and cried. once my mom came into the driveway because i didn't want her to see me crying. i took an hour long shower.. i dont even know if i washed my hair i was crying so hard. it sucks becasue i cant really talk abotu it becasue im afraid i'll get annoying about it. becasue my friend cassie talks about her ex all of the time and i want to punch her in the tit. yes, in the tit. he talks about how hot people are too.. like the substitute we had was young and pretty. she sounded like Ernie from Sesame street and people were making fun of her. Vincent (the ex) turns around and is like "dont make fun of her for her only flaw". it pisses me off.. he said he still liked me but he was confused.. this is bullshit because he acts totally different. he talks and jokes around with the TEACHER more than he does me.. we're trying to be friends but it's hurting too badly. i dont know.. if i DONT talk to him i'll feel even worse because he was a good part of my life.. and hes truly a genuinely nice guy but without going out with him, i dont know how to talk to him. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. its soo wierd. random parts of the day i would start tearing up and i would stop myself from crying before it happened but i've never felt like this before. this sucks. it sucks hard

I NEED SOME ACTION.
NOW, THANK YOU.



HOLY SHIT IM IN WITHDRAWAL

Lordy I haven't written in this in ages.

Um.. since then.. I've started my Junior year of high school. I'm much more content with myself I guess.

I got friends! haha It's been almost a year since I wrote all that stuff. Lets see:

This is Kelsey. We've known each other for months and we became such good friends we went to Delaware together during the summer. It was amazing and I'm so happy I found her.. or she found me. She actually offered to sit with my at lunch cause she probabyl figured I didnt have any friends.. and it just went from there.



Me and Jordan reunited.. and now we're best friends (fake cigs, noobs)


Oh here's Ian, Kelsey's boyfriend. We're good friends too.


Cassie (with Ian)


Laura.


HAnnah! (&Kelsey


(laura) and Betsy!


Meg


Jen & Emma


Zoe


Jess



SEE! I GOT PROOF! haha
I love life